Fernandes theories

There’s a scene in the Oliver Stone film JFK where the team assembled by the district attorney Jim Garrison sit around a table discussing the various players in the possible assassination of Kennedy which finishes with the quote “we’re through the looking glass here people”. Evertonians have their own visions of conspiracies at the minute as the signing of Manuel Fernandes, long promised to be in the bag as the F.A. go over the deal, fell through at the last minute as the player made the switch to La Liga side Valencia. After some clandestine meetings in dark car-parks with men named after sexual practices, there’s reports coming in that the Fernandes signing was to deflect from the Kirkby vote and the lack of investment. According to some, Bill Kenwright and Keith Wyness knew all along that the deal wouldn’t go through and it was all ’smoke and mirrors’. Even Yakubu is meant to be going somewhere else now.

Every conspiracy theorist knows that central to any good story is the motive. Why exactly would Everton say they have agreed a fee and the player has agreed terms and passed a medical if the deal would be scuppered anyway? Why would he be visibly presented as a guest of the club on Saturday if he was going to be off in 24 hours anyway? Everton have simply been gazumped at the last minute by a club who have taken advantage of the dithering by the F.A. keen to avoid another Tevez scandal. Fernandes, who is owned by a third party, was shifted on by a cash-hungry Benfica and the agents who advise him. Perhaps this is a better move for the player, but his eagerness to sign for Everton and the club’s insistence that a deal was imminent suggest no wrong-doing on the club’s front.

The outrage towards the club is nothing new in recent times but Everton have really got themselves off the hook here. While showing glimpses of his ability in his loan spell last year, Fernandes isn’t the player needed to make Everton and especially not at the inflated price that was mentioned. Even in his celebrated performance against Arsenal his tendency to drift in and out of the game was noticeable. Even the clip on YouTube that shows him making a mug out of the Arsenal midfield only came about after he lost the ball stupidly in possession, which is the first rule in how to not play against a talented attacking team. Questions also have to be asked about his commitment after he allowed his head to be turned after giving the club his word that he would be signing.

The botched signing does not look good for a club who are already struggling with public relations, but if it results in money for Everton to invest in players who will not be so troublesome it may still work out well. Hopefully David Moyes will use the remaining days of the transfer window to re-enforce the midfield that looks increasingly reliant on the artistry of Mikel Arteta and bring in some genuine class.